Falling Through My Fingers

These days.  They keep sliding past, sifting through my hands, and I am barely able to notice them as they fall away.  It's been so hard to keep up with the present moment.  With both of us tag-teaming at home, it's been hard to even know what day it is.  Often I go half the day thinking it's another day then it actually is.  Maybe it doesn't matter.  Washing Day, Sweeping Day, Window Day.  The random shuffle button has been pushed and it's on repeat.

Mostly it's rosy.  Sunny.  Sweet white strawberries from the garden that taste of pineapple.  But I can also see old man depression hiding behind every leaf, behind the trees in the back, blowing through the wind.  I occasionally feel that twinge of fear creeping into my throat.  Thank goodness for the distraction of the little birdies.  Sparrow and Jbird can keep me dancing for hours, just long enough to miss the shadows lurking about.

Our Jbird turned five.  Here is a manic way too early morning photo - where jbird digs into his candy cake before the sun has even settled into the sky.  Yes, I decided five was an acceptable age to introduce a birthday cake covered in candy.  for breakfast.  why not?

 

And here is baby Sparrow.  Jbird dresses him up all the time to play knight, pirate, dragon, elves, etc.  Sparrow now enjoys digging into the dress up basket on his own.  When it's quiet, I will sneak into the children's room and find this going on:

I'm so forever behind.  It's been so hot hot hot.  My words have just melted away.  Perhaps next month I'll get around to sweeping up the melty mess.  I see structure and rhythm and normal days gathering ahead like a storm.

Comments

[brettdl]

My mom used to make candy cakes. Don't remember the age that started, but I loved them.

I take at the end you are referring to the structure known as school? For us, school starts on Aug. 10th! I'm going to miss summer swim lessons.

[tai]

Okay, that picture of Sparrow is about the cutest thing ever. So adorable. I hope you can keep the spector of depression at bay- I know that lurking feeling well. And it seems more present in the heat somehow, eveyone just a bit quicker to flare. Peace to you mama.
t

[nytesong]

I've missed your regular posts and will be glad when they return but in the meantime....I hope you've been having lots of fun and that's why the days keep slipping by. =)

[Lori]

and the days only go faster .. i can hardly believe that my boys are 9 and 12 now. and i have loved them at every single age. what a ride.

[Stacy (mama-om)]

I like the idea of structure and rhythm gathering like a storm... lovely and just what I need. (I've felt it too.)

The photos are adorable... that is to say, your kids are wonderfully cute and your home looks beautiful and comfortable.